By Chuck Ring (GadaboutBlogalot ©2009 – 2010)
Quote Freely From The Article – Leave The Pseudonym Alone
I’ve always enjoyed shaggy dog stories. I suppose it is because I love the sound of contemptible moans and seeing the backside of my victims as they scurry away before they are subjected to another of my tails, er tales. Anyway, if you are unlucky enough to be around me for any length of time, you will be attacked by a shaggy dog story. Lucky for you (?) here are two of my favorites.
Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. Even when he wasn’t on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. He also was a devout Hindu and quite a spiritual person. Furthermore, due to his diet, which consisted of mostly vegetables, he ended up with very bad breath. He became known as a super-calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.
Graham Kerr, the Galloping Gourmet of television fame, ran out of recipes and decided that he would travel to Europe to seek new ones. His first stop was at a fish and chips place. He found the fish and chips to be absolutely beyond compare, and he asked the owner (after introducing himself) if the owner would share the recipe with him. The owner apologized, stating that he would if he could, but the recipe belonged to the monks in a monastery just up the street. He told Kerr that the monks were sure to give Kerr the recipes if Kerr gave them an endorsement on his television show. Kerr paid hill ticket, left a tip and departed for the monastery.
Arriving at the monastery, Kerr saw that the massive wooden door to the fortress-like facility had a huge wrought iron knocker. No sooner had he knocked on the door, than the door screeched loudly open, and standing before Kerr was a diminutive man in a brown habit. Kerr feeling confident, said, “You are the fish friar.” “Absolutely not,” replied the small man, “I am the chip monk!”
NOW FOR THE REAL SHAGGY DOGS:
This story comes from CBS Television and tells of a soldier and his dogs in Afghanistan. The dogs looked as though they were mixed with all the dogs in the village in which they were found by the soldier. Nonetheless, they were nourished and loved and apparently from events which were yet to transpire, returned the love with licks and heroism.
I’ll have CBS finish the story: